Surely you can relate to the notion that the future is mysterious. This is troubling to many of us, in the form of anxiety. Part of the unease with uncertainty is a false sense of certainty about the past. It’s as if after something happens, we are no longer uncertain about it. But, ask yourself, what did you do a…
Control is illusory
Inquiring about how we can control other people is often the wrong pursuit. In searching for ways to manage others, we fail to realize that we don’t really have control over our own actions. When is the last time you commanded your body to go to sleep? You don’t, you lie down and wait to fall asleep. You don’t flip…
How to foster engagement
Hold people accountable to results, not effort. What to do (results), not how to do it (effort). For example, a cable internet company, effort would be swapping out a customer’s modem for a new one. Results would be restoring the customer’s internet access. Trust develops naturally when people deliver results. A person that repeatedly restores customer internet access is going…
How to help employees with personal problems
Dealing with personal issues boils down to conflict resolution 101. If there isn’t a clash in helping, don’t fabricate a problem. Just help out, there’s no better way to build mutual loyalty. People won’t forget how gracious you were when a loved one passed away. There aren’t personal issues and work issues, there are just issues. Don’t ignore or avoid…
You don’t need certainty that it won’t ever happen again.
I ran into someone at the gym tonight when walking past the machine they were working out at. I felt bad and apologized. It was apparently enough for that person, as I imagine an apology is often enough for the occasional bump at the gym. But this had me thinking, there are plenty of times when we refuse to accept…
Influence others by influencing yourself
Last week, someone asked how best to change other people’s future behavior. The important question is, what is your goal in changing someone else? Often, we can change ourselves faster than anyone else. For example, if you have a way of working that gives you confidence in a successful outcome, you might be inclined to get other people to do…
Feedback leads to indolence
It’s never a good idea to wait until the last minute to get feedback. But, that doesn’t mean immediate feedback is a universal good. Jonathan recently started to explore medium format cameras. He picked up an analog version, the type where he has to take a roll of film in to be developed. The feedback loop, as you can imagine,…
Using familiarity to your advantage
When we say “I like Mexican food” and “I dislike Chinese food” what we’re really saying is “I’m familiar with Mexican food and I’m not familiar with Chinese food.” Familiarity is often what we mean when we indicate preferences. Knowing this, if there’s something that you don’t like that you think might be beneficial to like, you can engineer your…
It’s not liking, it’s familiarity
I’m sure we can all imagine a time when someone made a recommendation for a place to eat that we felt repulsed by. “You know I don’t like that place, I hate Chinese food, how about….” Of course it’s not just food, we all express preferences in many aspects of life. We have our favorite grocery store. We have our…
Constraints can be your best friend
If you feel overwhelmed with options when making a decision, sometimes adding a constraint is the best way to make a worthwhile decision. For example, this weekend I was looking for brunch ideas here in NYC. As you can imagine it can be quite frustrating sifting through hundreds, if not thousands, of possibilities. So, I asked myself where would I…